Negative Self-Talk…What A Nag!
Upon embarking on my journey of Health and Life Coaching I have found joy in helping others, seeing them transform not only their career, relationship(s) and physical being, but also their mindset, thought process, and how they genuinely see themselves in the world.
But getting to the point where people want to seek my services, openly talk about how they would like to change, and perhaps most importantly, put their trust in me as their coach, mentor, cheerleader, and sometimes ass-kicker (in the most loving way) has not always been easy. Marketing both businesses I’ve built, personal fitness training and health and life coaching has not always fit into my comfort zone. While I’ve spent time in my career marketing for other people, putting myself out to the world brings up a whole host of feelings. Will people think what I have to say is meaningful, will they think I know enough or have enough experience to hire me as their coach, will my clients gain value by hiring me in the first place?
Valuable questions to ask when just starting a coaching career but continuing to ask these questions do nothing for my confidence or moving me forward in this journey. They are, quite frankly, limiting beliefs that can keep me from putting myself out there and letting the world know about me. In a nutshell, these are negative thoughts; pesky little things that creep in at the most inopportune times, that can literally stop you in your tracks.
Negative self-talk is so often the culprit to staying stagnant. It limits our beliefs of who we are and how we see ourselves. It keeps us from going after what we want because the thoughts tap down the one thing we rely on most, our confidence. For example, if I continued the cycle of negative thoughts, I would probably never have a coaching client (which thankfully is not the case), thinking I wasn’t ready, didn’t have enough training, didn’t know enough about coaching…you get the picture.
So instead of thinking such limiting beliefs I choose to do the opposite, pointing out the years of education and experience I have, both in psychology and coaching, thinking about the people throughout my life who have thanked me for being there for them and listening with an open heart and open mind, and the times someone has said, “you helped me change my life.” Essentially, rather than letting in the negative thoughts, which can sometimes feel safer and keep me from moving forward, I choose to break out of the cycle of self- doubt and focus on the positive, while at the same time believing that who I am, and the experience I bring is enough.
“…The relationship we have with ourselves shapes our daily experiences profoundly. If we do not accept ourselves for who we are and feel that we can only be “enough” if we reach certain standards, we are bound to a life of suffering,” Seph Fontane Pennock Hugo Alberts, Ph.D of Positive Psychology.com. That is, if I felt I had to continue obtaining degrees and certifications, taking class after class to be a valuable coach I could put off doing the work for years, and creating a goal to strive for that exists in my own mind only. If I did that, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog because it would never be good enough. Instead, with all its imperfections, here I am speaking to you, hoping you gain something from me.
How do you talk with yourself? Do negative thoughts keep you from moving forward? Listen, you may not have everything you need to begin an exercise program; you may not be the exact size society deems appropriate, and you may not have the exact job you’ve always dreamed of, but regardless of that, you are perfectly you, and that is always enough. So, the next time those pesky negative thoughts try to keep you from moving forward shove them to back and take an inventory of all the positive qualities you possess, all you are grateful for, and all that you offer the world just by being YOU.